Catch Up, No Mustard
Catch Up, No Mustard is the thirteenth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 12 and the 258th episode overall. It aired on August 11, 2014. Characters Reds and Blues *Sarge *Grif *Simmons *Donut *Lopez *Epsilon *Washington *Tucker *Caboose *Carolina *Freckles (storage chip only) *Doc (mentioned only) *Sister (mentioned only) *Church (mentioned only) Federal Army of Chorus *Emily Grey Space Pirates *Felix (mentioned only) *Locus (mentioned only) Other *Lopez 2.0 (mentioned only) *Meta (mentioned only) Plot At the Forest Base, the Blood Gulch Crew attempt to take Grif’s Suppressor in order to analyze it, but the latter refuses to give it up, not wanting to relive the moment of when the UNSC confiscated the “Grif Shot”. As a result, Epsilon briefly possess Grif and forces him to release the Suppressor, allowing Carolina to carry out her plan of dismantling it. After she leaves, Caboose asks Wash about Freckles’ whereabouts, prompting the others to leave in order to avoid the question. Nervous about telling Caboose of what happened to his pet, Wash hands Caboose Freckles’ storage unit. Fortunately, instead feeling saddened, Caboose becomes overjoyed at Freckles’ new state and places the unit in his pocket for safekeeping. Meanwhile, Grif is revealed to have taken the Suppressor back and fires it at Carolina in order to prevent her from seizing it again. Emily soon becomes inquisitive towards the weapon and asks if it's actually man-made. Carolina and Epsilon assure her that it is, but Emily points out that it contains alien-like plasma energy and isn't made of human technology. She then further explains that the Federal Army traded alien tech with Locus in exchange for his military assistance, much like the New Republic’s similar deal with Felix. As a result of this, the group conclude that the Space Pirates collect the alien technology and manufacture them into more advanced weapons and equipment. In order to get further information on the advanced alien tech, Grif suggests they analyze the “future cubes.” Carolina makes the connection between the grenades and the Suppressor, and asks Grif how he knew about them. The group then explain that they found the grenades inside the ship. Because the grenades were already on the ship before the crash, Epsilon suggests that they access the ship’s manifest in order to figure out who supplied them. With the everyone agreeing to the plan, Carolina decides that half of the group return to Crash Site Bravo in search for the manifest, while the other half search the second part of the ship at “Crash Site Alpha.” Transcript Fade in to the forest base. The Reds and Blues surround Grif, who is aiming his Suppressor at them. Carolina: Grif,... we just want to look at it. Grif: That's what the UNSC guys said about the "Grif Shot," and I never saw it again! Carolina: (confused) The what? Simmons: Meta's weapon. Grif kept it as a trophy until the UNSC confiscated it. Donut: Until then, I thought I'' was the only one man enough around here to cry, but Grif proved me wrong. '''Tucker:' Ha! Grif: (lowers Suppressor) It had sentimental value! Sarge: Damn it Grif! Hand over that laser this instant! Grif: You can't tell me what to do! I outrank you, again! Sarge: What th- bur- Well... (loads Shotgun) Let's see you outrank the end of my shotgun! Grif: Uh, done. (raises Suppressor) Fucking space laser, bitch. Epsilon: (appears next to Carolina) Yeah, this is taking forever. Epsilon switches to his 'ghost' form and possesses Grif Grif: Hey! Hey wait a minute—Hurk-egh! Epsilon: (possessing Grif) Hoo! Ugh... Okay, alright here you go. (drops Suppressor) Carolina: Thanks. (picks up Suppressor) Ugh... Why is this so greasy? Epsilon: You think that's bad? Imagine how I feel right now. Being inside this body is like trying to breathe through a trash can. Epsilon exits Grif's body Grif: He-gurk-gah... God damn it! I hate that! Emily: (excited) FASCINATING! An A.I. with the ability to jump from soldier to soldier!? (to Carolina) Tell me, does he travel via your neural implants or is it something more subtle? Carolina: Implants. All Freelancer personnel have them. Tucker: I thought only the Alpha could do that. Epsilon: Yeah, Just another trick I picked up from one of my... (starts flickering) old memory... buddies. God, it gives me a headache though... Carolina: C'mon, let's dismantle this thing and see what we can learn. Grif: Hey- look- but- Carolina: When we're done, you can have it back in one piece... probably. Simmons: (excited) Ooh! Ooh! You mind If I tag along? Sarge: Yeah! Advanced weaponry is my fifth favorite hobby! Right behind destroying my enemies, but just ahead of karaoke! Carolina: No... thanks, uh... I think Epsilon and I have it handled. Why don't you catch up for a while? You've all been through a lot. (walks off) Epsilon: Yeah, I'd stick around for the reunion but uh... some of you guys still seem pretty pissed at me so... I'm just gonna wait for that to settle... (disappears) Donut: Sooo... How have you guys been? Grif: Shut up. Donut: Same old, same old, huh? That's cool. Emily: Well... I don't want to intrude on such a sweet moment of reconnection... Washington: Fine with me. Emily: I was being polite, I'm actually far more interested in foreign technology. Bye! (runs off) Caboose: Okay bye! ...She seems nice. Donut: Right? Simmons: I think she has a few screws loose... Tucker: Oh-ho I could always help her out with that. Bow-chicka-bow- Caboose: WAIT! Tucker: Aw c'mon dude, it's been ages! Caboose: Washington! I-I almost forgot! Uh-uh-uh... Where's Freckles? Uh, he probably had some screws loose also. Sarge: Ohhh... Y'know what? I think I'm just gonna go take a peek at that laser thing after all. I'm just dying to see it... (Simmons and Lopez look at him) Uh... I mean it's killin' me not to- Uh... Oh... (pauses to think) Nope. Got nothin'. Sarge runs off. Simmons: Yeeaahh... Simmons and Grif run off. Lopez: Suave. Smooth. Lopez runs off. Washington looks at Tucker. The latter walks off. Caboose: Yeah, this is great. Church is back, you're back, it's like all of us made it back safe and sound in one piece! No problem. Washington: Ehh, Caboose... Caboose: Alive! Washington: Caboose, uh... I'm not really sure how to tell you this... without both confusing you and breaking your disturbingly fragile heart. Caboose: I AM AN EMOTIONAL TIME BOMB! Washington: Jesus Christ... (clears throat) Caboose, I'm afraid this... is all that's left of Freckles. (shows Caboose Freckles' storage unit) It's his brain... sort of. Caboose: (stares at the storage chip) Freckles? You're- you're- (joyfully) you're so tiny now! Caboose grabs Freckles' storage unit out of Wash's hand and joyfully points it to the sky. Washington: (confused) Uh, what? Caboose: (fondles the storage unit) It's so good to see you again! (pets the storage unit) Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy, Freckles? Washington: So you're... okay then? Caboose: Ah, Wash this is great! Now he can fit in my pocket and I don't have to worry about him trying to kill anyone anymore. Washington: I guess that is sort of better. Caboose: Thanks for looking out for Freckles, Wash. I know he can be a handful. Washington: Literally, at this point. Caboose: Alright, let's go for a walk Freckles, (quietly) 'cause Wash is acting weird and dramatic again. (runs off) Good to have ya' back, Agent Washington! Washington: Hmm. It's good to be back. Grif: (off screen) Back off lady, or I will put you in the ground! Washington: Aaand, the moment's passed. Cut to Grif aiming his Suppressor at Carolina. Emily and the Reds and Blues watch nearby. Grif: (angrily) You were about to take it apart! Carolina: (frustrated) What did you think "dismantle" meant? Wash approaches Simmons and Lopez. Washington: How did he manage to get the laser back? Simmons: He's deceptively heavy. Lopez: Pues, el ya parece gordo. O sea es mucho decir.he already looks fat. So that's saying something. Carolina: 'Grif, for the last time, put the laser- ''Grif fires at Carolina, prompting her to duck. Grif lowers his Suppressor 'Grif: '(nervously) Uh, okay. Look that was an accident. 'Carolina: '''I'm going to break your fingers now. ''Grif sprints backward on fear. '''Grif: Uhh!! Emily: 'Excuse me. ''Everyone turns to Emily. '''Emily: (to Grif) Where did you find that rifle? Grif: 'Hey, I picked it up after Carolina dropped it at the snow base. (''to Carolina) Are you even familiar with the "international dibs protocol?" '''Carolina: (to Emily) The pirates have been manufacturing these along with the armor enhancements. They got facilities scattered around the planet. Emily: So then your sure it's man made. Emily approaches Grif. Epsilon appears beside Carolina Epsilon: 'Yeah, I'm positive. Why? '''Emily: '''Well, for starters, it isn't using human technology. It just fired some kind of modified plasma energy. Very deadly. And pretty! ''Emily crouches down. '''Sarge: Plasma? Emily: 'Alien energy source. I've seen it countless times in archaeological digs. '''Simmons: '''Wait, I thought you were a surgeon? ''Emily stands. '''Emily: I have an IQ of 240. A prodigy can only cut people open so many times before she needs to find a hobby. Epsilon appears before Emily. Epsilon: Jesus. Couldn't try cross stitching? Emily: 'I sewed them back up, thank you very much. '''Tucker: '''Hey, didn't Felix say that he was ''paid in alien tech? 'Caboose: '''I believe he said he was paid in babies. '''Epsilon: '''The fuck? '''Grif: '''Don't ask. '''Simmons: '''He was definitely carrying around an old plasma rifle. But I thought he said it was broken. '''Emily: '''It's likely it was. The Federal Army arranged a similar deal with Locus. They figured trading useless antiques for military assistance was a good deal. '''Carolina: '''So the mercs stock up on alien technology and hand it over to the pirates for reverse engineering. '''Washington: '''Giving them a new kind of weapon. Half human, half alien. '''Epsilon: '''And every single one of them pointed at us. ...Fantastic. '''Emily: '''Do you have anything else like this? '''Grif: '''What about the future cubes? '''Carolina: '''The what? ''Cut to three teleportation grenades set up on a table. The Blood Gulch Crew and Emily gather around them. '''Donut: '''Future cubes! The cubes of the future! '''Grif: '''They look kinda like the laser gun, right? '''Simmons: ''That's'' your deductive reasoning? They're related because they're both orange and glowy. Grif: 'So. '''Simmons: '''So?! If I heated ''your armor to a thousand degrees, would you think your related too? '''Donut: '''Fahrenheit or Celsius? '''Grif: '''Oh come on, there's clearly a resemblance! '''Sarge: (sarcastically) Oh, of course. Just like the uncanny resemblance between apples and fire trucks, or Caboose and the Pacific Ocean, or Lopez and a dingleberry! Grif: Okay, I get it. Epsilon: Hey Grif, let me ask you a question, you ever get your sister confused with mustard? You know, since they're both yellow and cheap? Grif fires at Epsilon, the blasts pass right through his holographic projection. Epsilon: Yeah, nice try. Still a hologram by the way. Carolina: Epsilon, he's right. Epsilon: Yeah, I know, I just wanted in on the action! Carolina: Both types of equipment seem to utilize some form of alien engineering. (to Grif) But... how did you know how the teleporters look like? Grif: 'Cause we had them in the canyon, duh. Epsilon: Wait, you did? Donut: Yeah! They were awesome! Sarge: We found them while we were sneaking aboard the ship one night in an attempt to destroy the Blues. Wash, Tucker, and Caboose turn to Sarge. He notices. Sarge: I mean, the Blues' robot. May he rest in peace. Grif: (to Carolina and Epsilon) Which reminds me, how did you guys teleport with those things? We could only figure out how to transport random junk. Lopez: Y Doc. Usted accidentalmente teletransportó a Doc. Doc. You accidentally teleported Doc. Donut: Oh my gosh, that's right! We did use them to defeat Dos.0! Lopez: Oh, por el amor de Dios...for fuck's sake... Epsilon: Okay! Everybody, shut up! Listen, if the same people making weapons on Chorus had cargo on our ship, then we might be able to find out who they are. Simmons: How? Carolina: A manifest? Epsilon: Yyyyep. Washington: That's right. A transport ship that size would need to keep track of all its cargo. Carolina: So if we find the manifest, we find out who supplied the teleportation grenades. Tucker: (skeptical) So you think a bunch of evil bad guys, working outside of the law, are gonna worry about paperwork? Epsilon: Wha- you got any better ideas? Tucker: (sighs) No... Carolina: Then we have our objective: Half of us will travel back to the canyon and search Crash Site Bravo for the manifest. Simmons: Why split up? Carolina: Because the rest of us will be searching the other half of the ship... at Crash Site Alpha. Gallery 12 13 00001.png 12 13 00002.png 12 13 00003.png 12 13 00004.png 12 13 00005.png 12 13 00008.png 12 13 00009.png 12 13 00010.png 12 13 00011.png 12 13 00012.png 12 13 00014.png You accidentally teleported Doc - S12E13.png Trivia *Tucker's catchphrase, "Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow," returns in this episode. *The running gag of Donut misunderstanding Lopez returns in this episode. **Lopez and Donut mention Doc's disappearance and Lopez 2.0's destruction during this gag. *The running gag of Church possessing other characters also returns in this episode. *Grif calling rank on Sarge is a reference to Reconstruction, where he states his new rank to him in Chapter 9. *Grif shooting Epsilon's projection is a reference to the previous episode, where Tucker does the same thing after Epsilon angers him. *It is revealed that the other half of the UNSC ship is located at "Crash Site Alpha." *It is revealed that the Meta's Brute Shot was seized from Grif by the UNSC, leaving him bitter about it. The Brute Shot was most likely written out due to the fact that the weapon is not accessible in Halo 4. *This episode explains specifically how Alpha, Omega, and Epsilon are able to take over others throughout the series; by moving via a soldier's neural implants. *Emily Grey is revealed to have an IQ of 240. *Donut's description on the Teleportation Grenades as "Future Cubes" is a reference to Fire, when he makes a similar description. *Donut asking Simmons if he's referring to Fahrenheit or Celsius is a reference to Thin Ice. *It is revealed that Felix and Locus bring the alien artifacts found on Chorus to Control to be reverse-engineered, resulting in advanced weaponry such as the Suppressor. *Grif mentions the International Dibs Protocol, a reference to the Season 5 episode Got Your Back, when Sarge mentions the same thing after Church called dibs on the ship. Video Category:Episodes Category:Season 12